(Backpost) I Am Not Gone.

Posted on Wed Mar 19th, 2025 @ 12:59am by Lieutenant Faith Hawkins & Keira McLachlan

1,130 words; about a 6 minute read

Mission: R&R
Location: USS Britannic.
Timeline: 2376

TW: This post discusses the loss of, grieving process for a friend.

January 2376.

Her hands gripped the railing of the upper level of her domain. It was long after her shift had finished. But Faith needed a change of scene. Meredith had gone to stay with Auntie Keira, her cousins Heidi, Lydia for the evening. It had been planned in advance. It was almost like it was written in the stars for Faith to find out today. “You’re pregnant.”

Faith almost didn’t want to know. Sure. She had an idea. The mood swings were there in abundance. The increased appetite hadn’t arrived yet, but it would soon. After all, she still had seven months to go. “August.” August was when Meredith would become a big sister. Faith hadn’t even told her. Or anyone. It felt bittersweet. She turned, faced the console behind her. ”Computer.” A pause. A lump in her throat. “Service record for.” Another pause. “For.”

“Galran Seastri.”

A chirp. There he was. The man who’d helped Faith become a mother. The man who died at the hands of the Cardassians. If anyone ever came close to being her best friend. It was him. They roomed together from day one at the Academy. They were posted to Arundel together. A kind, empathetic man. A loyal, dependable friend. He died while trying to save the lives of others who were injured that day. Every one of his qualities was passed to his daughter, Meredith. She, Galran agreed on a name for her without difficulty. Meredith for Faith’s maternal grandmother. Her middle name Jevera for Galran’s mother. Both surnames.

The end of the war had not been in sight. Faith, Galran decided to grow their unconventional family anyway. Arundel was posted behind the front lines. Escort duties. There was no reason to believe their old, outdated ship would be sent to the front lines. A week after she, Galran started the process to conceive a second child, Arundel was hastily repaired, dispatched to the front lines. It was still licking its wounds after an Jem'Hadar ambush while on convoy duty. It shouldn’t have even been at the front line. Half of the people on board died that day. Galran was one of them.

A dedicated, loving father to Meredith. He was the best she could ask for. He wouldn’t get to meet their second child. Faith knew she would have to tell Galran’s family. But not yet. She was struggling with the reality he was no longer here. Meredith, her unborn sibling were his legacy. A legacy she knew Galran was proud of. One Faith would honour until her dying breath.

-

It was late. She hoped the sound of the chime would not wake Meredith, Heidi, Lydia. But she needed to talk to someone. Faith needed her sister.

As Faith had correctly assumed, Keira was still awake. She was reading. Although a guest was not expected tonight, Keira knew at this hour, it was probably Faith. Rather than shout across her quarters, Keira went up to the door. She opened it to find her assumption was correct. She opened her arms to offer Faith a hug. “Come here.” said Keira, embracing a sobbing Faith. After a minute or so, Keira shepherded Faith into her quarters. Sat her down on the sofa. Prepared a hot drink for them both. She, Faith had not seen eye to eye of late. They were both grieving. Keira for her husband, the father of her daughters. Faith, for Galran. Keira sat next to Faith, a metre or so away. Enough to give her space. Enough to be close enough if she needed another hug.

“I’m pregnant, Keira.” said Faith.

Keira knew of Faith, Galran’s plans to try for a sibling for Meredith. Normally, Keira would be overjoyed and want to celebrate. But not this time. It felt inappropriate, knowing Galran was not here to find out himself. “Oh Faith.” she replied. Another hug was offered. Accepted. She embraced her sister tightly. As Faith began to sob again, Keira tried to reassure her. “I’m here. I’ll help you every step of the way. I promise.”

She had never cried for Galran. This was the first time. She let it all out into the arms of her older sister. The older sister who, despite losing her husband in the same battle, had put the needs of others first. Faith had repeatedly pushed her away. Avoided her as much as possible. For two months. Two months which had felt like a lifetime. Faith felt as Keira’s right hand gently rested on the back of her head. “I’m sorry.” she said, through sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

“You have nothing to say sorry for, Faith.” replied Keira, reassuringly. Tears were welling up in her eyes. But, she made sure she stayed strong for her sister in her time of need. She needed to. “Nothing at all.”

-

March 2376.

Keira insisted on accompanying Faith for her latest pregnancy scan. Their relationship, whilst not quite what it was prior to the war, was now on a much stronger footing. This pleased both Faith, Keira. Today, Faith found out she was having a second daughter. She had planned to name a son Galran, but had not yet decided a name for a girl. There was still plenty of time. She could vividly picture Galran telling Faith that in no uncertain terms was she to name their son after him. It almost brought a smile to her face. Maybe in time, it would.

She had informed Galran’s family of her pregnancy, promising to allow them to see Meredith and meet their new granddaughter at the first opportunity. Their support remained steadfast. Faith had enabled their son to realise his wish to have a family, for which they felt they owed an unrepayable debt to Faith. Faith readily admitted she never planned to have children. But after discovering she was pregnant with Meredith, she couldn’t imagine her life without her, and now her unborn daughter too.

“Another girl.” observed Keira.

Faith shrugged. “There’s a lot of them in Galran’s family. He was the first boy born into his family for nearly thirty years.” a pause. Galran ended up being the only male in his generation. “And ours, it seems.”

Keira smiled. The mood swings, cravings, increased appetite were now in full swing for her sister. Having also been through the same number of pregnancies, Keira knew exactly how Faith was feeling right now.

“Shall we go and tell her sister and cousins the news?”

After taking a few more moments to think, compose herself, Faith nodded.

 

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