René's Story

Posted on Tue Dec 5th, 2023 @ 7:37pm by Lieutenant JG René Rouen & Lieutenant JG Toareth Rouen (née Darqa)

2,356 words; about a 12 minute read

Mission: Prelude: Getting Ready to Depart
Location: Toareth's Quarters
Timeline: MD4, 2015 hours

René finally released Toar from the hug, partly due to his former habit of respecting her personal space during their time together on the USS Stardancer. Mostly he didn't want to succumb to old desires. He had avoided intimate relationships of any kind during the War and old habits died hard.

And though Toareth knew the impossibility of them going right back to where they were before the war, she rather enjoyed his embrace. She equally knew not to push him. It took time for them to become acquainted the first time around and it will take time for them to become reacquainted. The fact that a child was involved...well, she hoped they would end up back where they were, but this was going to take work. Work and hope. Hope was, of course, a concept she was unfamiliar with prior to meeting René. And now that she was more acquainted with it, she held on to it as much as she wanted to hold on to him.

"You heard me tell my tale...part of my tale. There is so much to say and I know you have questions, but...I need to know what happened with you."

Rene thought back to his time since Christmas leave nearly four years ago. "I was initially assigned to the USS Venture as the security division officer after you left with Lynch. I spent most of the nearly last four years assigned there. Though I had several duty assignments with ground force detachments during that time. I was on Ajilon Prime when the Klingon's attacked following the revocation of the Khitomer Accords. I returned to the Venture after the Klingon ground forces left the surface and a dedicated ground unit relieved us. It was my first real combat tour." He paused for a moment, a thoughtful expression on his face.

"You said you lost friends in combat. I cannot imagine how that must have been. I am sorry you had to endure that. You still have friends and other colleagues that made it through, I am sure."

"It isn't the living that haunt me in my dreams." René gave Toar a somber look. "I returned to the Venture. Most nights I would just collapse in my bunk. When the Khitomer Accords were reinstated we thought there would be peace for a while. Then the Jem Hadar fleet came through the wormhole and the Cardassian Union joined the Dominion."

"I recall. My team was asked to double our efforts. I..." she looked at herself, remembering her pregnancy, "...am going off on a tangent. Please. Proceed."

"Dominion Forces attacked Deep Space Nine. The Venture wasn't able to arrive in time, but we did rendezvous with the Defiant at Starbase 375. We staged the fleet at starbases throughout the sector and engaged in skirmishes to slow the advance of Dominion and Cardassian forces. A year spent fighting tactical withdrawals. Then a plan was put in place for Operation Return. We could finally regain the initiative."

Toareth listened intently. She recalled hearing a man, Sloan by name, having mentioned that Operation.

Rene sighed as his expression darkened. "We took the Chin'toka system and discovered a communications relay on AR 558. A detachment of personnel and equipment was put together to try and decrypt the Dominion protocols, gain intel on enemy plans, disposition of forces, anything to help the war effort."

Toareth realized, from Rene's narrative, that there was time them two were separated by only a few lightyears. Of course there was the topic of enemy lines. But still, for a few months, they were almost within screaming distance.

"It must have been an important asset," Rene continued. "Jem Hadar planted dozens of cloaked mines just out of phase. These Houdinis would decloak and detonate and on several occasions a Jem Hadar landing team would assault the base. We would beat them back, but we took losses. One hundred and forty seven of us were stationed on AR 558 for what was supposed to be a 90 day mission. We were there for five months and lost 104 people when the Defiant arrived to resupply us."

'If we had worked harder.' Toareth thought. She could feel Rene's emotions. There was anger of course, an immense amount of anger. One that would make one want to punch a star out of orbit. But sorrow dominated.

"Unfortunately, the Jem Hadar launched another attack, this time in force. Captain Sisko took command and we dug in. His science officer found a way to decloak the mines without detonating them and we were able to reposition the explosives along the only avenue of advance for the Jem Hadar. Even with that, we were hard pressed to defend the array."

"At least you made it harder for the Jem Hadar. I know they value fighting, even death on combat over sitting idly by," she said. Toareth had heard about their tactics and envisioned Jem Hadar ship after Jen Hadar ship happily being taken out by an explosive to make a path for the following ship to also be taken out by an explosive with the intent that maybe a few would make it through. To watch an enemy willfully and happily die because of their hate for you, hoping to take as many of your out with them would wreak havoc on anyone's conscience.

"When the Defiant and the Veracruz returned with reinforcements my garrison was relieved. Only twenty-nine of us survived to make it off the planet that includes the six from the Defiant that got trapped with us. They say war is Hell. Trust me, going to Hell would have seemed like a holiday compared to AR 558."

"I remember hearing about that battle," Toareth said. "I read the casualty report. We did not know who survived though."

There was a time Toareth would rival that tale with one of her own; of having to watch her entire planet die; her people slaughtered and being assimilated. And the want to mention that was on the tip of her tongue. But she could not do it. She could not gaslight her love. His experiences and feelings were real and lessened to no degree because of her own experiences. "El-Aurians have a word for Hell, if I understand it right. We call it Norelmform. 'No...Realm...For...Me'. Norelmform. Because to say its real name is forbidden, though we don't know it anyway. That, and...I have not much use for the spiritual life anyway. Still, if I understand this Hell correctly, then war is certainly not Hell. Because I am told the innocent are not sent there. War is worse." She thought briefly and then spoke seemingly to the cosmos. "And the means some go to wage war...or to end it...is oftentimes worse than Hell."

Toareth returned her attention to Rene. "I am happy you made it through that battle. I cannot imagine it or what you may still be dealing with." She knew many familied were broken in the war, that many children are fatherless, motherless, parentless, parents became widowed or widowered or childless themselves. Through some wild providence however, this family, in whatever stage of infancy it would categorized into, managed to survive.

"I am no counselor," she began again. "But I am El-Aurian. And we are famous for listening. I am also the mother of your child. And I will always be here for you Rene. No matter the situation or circumstance. Just as you are the father of my child."

René gave a long sigh. Memories of Paris came back to him, both long ago and even more recent events. "I was granted leave after AR 558. I went back to Earth and found out that Sabine, my sister, had enlisted. She had been serving as a Hospital Corpsman and was taking extension courses from the Academy while serving as an enlisted rating. It was nice to be with family...until the Breen attacked Earth. San Francisco was the primary target, but Paris was also hit hard. Fortunately we were all at the family estate in Rouen, France. We only lost the house in Paris."

"That is wonderful news," Toareth said. "I mean, when compared to the alternative. I'm glad none of the family were casualties. That is what I am trying to say. And that Sabine has found a passion." Toareth remembered telling Rene to pass on her blessing to Sabine. Fortunately, Toareth was able to do that herself only a few months later. "So, Corpsman Rouen."

René gave Toar a small smile. "Actually, Sabine just received a direct commission to ensign. She is now an assistant counselor. She has even been told she can have her pick of assignments and is planning on continuing her studies to earn her Doctorate in psychology. She wants to help heal those who have suffered since the start of the war."

"Hhmmm," she breathed nasally. "I've not had much need for counselors in my time." She actually did not mean to say that aloud. At least she was speaking the truth. She continued the truth with, "Not until the war that is, when...um..." and then she caught herself about to say something she was told never to say aloud...to anyone...ever, "...when the entire quadrant was in chaos," she finished. "It was difficult just to listen to the news. Imagine that, an El-Aurian finding it difficult to listen. The rest of the family is doing well I hope." And there was that word again; 'hope.' Before the war, Toareth had no need of the likes of hope. Now she frequented it frequently.

René smiled and nodded. "Everyone is well. The house can be rebuilt in Paris and the manor in Rouen is big enough for everyone. Jacques has been staying in government housing in Paris what with his job in the Palais de Concordia."

"That is good to hear," Toareth said ending the thought with a yawn. With the past couple of years, her past experiences, and all that was happening, it felt as though all that was catching up to her, weighing down and wearing her out. She was not sleep deprived by any degree, just exhausted. These long conversations, as René had pointed out earlier, were going to be many. Already though, Toareth felt a little bit less weight on her shoulders. But there was still a long way to go.

She stretched as she yawned.

René stood up. He knew a tired person when he saw one. "How about we plan on having lunch sometime soon and talk about where we want to go from here." He looked at Gabrielle's door and glanced back to Toar. "Together."

Toar was nodding her agreement. "I was thinking of the same question to be honest. Yes. Let's do that. I do ask that you bear with me. The last time we were together, I said that I can be difficult. I want to tell you more, but it will take more conversations." She stood and stepped over to him. "And I do not think it is exaggeration or me being dramatic when I say you may find it difficult to love me again. All I ask is that you bear with me until..." and she did not know how long it would take to tell him everything, or if she could remember everything to tell him. And this was not just events and experiences of the past few years but the past several decades. There were volumes of tales to tell. But she could tell he was about to say something, so she raised a hand and put a finger to his lips as he once had done to her. "Don't respond just yet. Let's take this a day and a conversation at a time."

René couldn't help but smile as Toar used his own tricks on him. He knew in that moment that everything would work out for the best. He gently took hold of her wrist and kissed her fingertip. He glanced at the door to Gabrielle's bedroom for a moment before turning his eyes back to Toar's. "Will I wake her if I go in and check on her one last time tonight?"

Toareth looked toward the door to Gabielle's room. "I already have it programmed to open slowly and quietly if you slowly approach the door. She sleeps like the dead. Go look on her once more."

"Merci mon amour." Rene slowly approached the bedroom door. He moved quietly to Gabrielle's bedside and took a knee. He was amazed at how beautiful his...their daughter was. He leaned over and gave Gabrielle the lightest kiss on the forehead. Gabrielle stirred, but remained asleep. He felt joy at seeing a small smile creep to Gabrielle's face for a moment.

René turned and saw Toareth's silhouette in the door watching silently. He stepped out of the bedroom and saw Toareth smiling as the door closed automatically. He pulled Toar into his arms and kissed her on impulse.

René's movement was a surprise to her. She kissed him back and pressed her eyes shut in an attempt to hold back a tear or two. There was so much she wanted; love and this family was at the top of the pile but she knew this had to take time. Acting on impulse, and to continue acting on impulse was a precarious way forward. In this moment though, time seemed to stop and Toareth hoped they could spent the rest of their lives within that moment.

Rene was unclear as to how long they'd kissed. He just remembered the kiss deepening and conveying all the love they felt for one another. He felt out of breath and light headed for a moment. "I...best leave now or I won't be able to."

"Yes," she said. There was a response that had come to mind but she opted against it. They were aboard the same ship, going on the same mission. There would be plenty of other opportunities. "That would be best."

 

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