Family,: past, present and future

Posted on Wed Sep 25th, 2024 @ 1:43pm by Lieutenant JG Toareth Rouen (née Darqa) & Lieutenant JG Syvar MD

1,641 words; about a 8 minute read

Mission: Fortuna
Location: Jefferies Tube
Timeline: Prior to "Up Up and Away"

Toareth was doing her rounds in one of the medical pods of the Britannic; venturing from room to room, checking in and checking vitals and making sure progress was being made. Nearly done with her rounds, Toareth was especially teary-eyed upon leaving one room in particular. Not wanting to be seen by too many in that state, Toareth hurried to the nearest hatchway providing access to the Jefferies Tubes. She feigned another migraine by pressing her palm to her forehead and played it off as a particularly bad migraine, but she rarely was brought to tears by them. There was but only a few personnel in the corridor as she arrived at the nearest hatch, did not bother to take a survey of who was in the corridor, and allowed herself into the tubes.

One of the few, however, happened to be an empath who turned his head sharply at the sudden wave of emotions, bright green eyes searching for the source. As he rounded the corner, he just saw a woman slip away and recognised her as the source.

The young Vulcan quickened his step, hurrying after her. "Ma'am, are you alright?" He asked as he approached, at first not recognising her as his new boss. He reached out with a gloved hand to touch her arm and draw further attention. "Ma'am?"

By then, Toareth was just inside the Jefferies Tube. She turned to look at who had approached and recognized Syvar. Without speaking, she motioned with a nod for him to follow as she entered the tube; that access shaft that provided standing room before actually entering the tubes.

Syvar followed her, no quite sure what was going on or why she was hiding in the tubes. "Are you alright?" He asked, worry clear in his voice.

Toareth closed the hatch sealing them away from anyone else in the corridor and fell back against the wall with a sigh and a sniffled. Her eyes reddened and watery. "I, um..." sniffle, "...was doing my rounds in the medical pod. A patient, recovering from radiation burns has a picture of her daughter beside her bed." Toareth shook her head, mostly in disbelief at her loss on control with her emotions. Normally her meddle could match that of any Vulcan. Today, though, "Her daughter looks very much like my sister the last time I saw her." She sniffled again and wiped her eyes. "Just old memories coming back unexpectedly." She sighed. "I just need a moment."

Any Vulcan, but Syvar who wore his emotions very much on his sleeve. He reached out with a gloved hand to touch hers. "When was the last time you saw your sister?" He asked softly, "and do we know where your patient's daughter might be?"

"At home," she said. Truthfully, that was the answer to both of Syvar's questions. "The daughter is at home on Earth. As for my sister...at home...was where I last saw her. On El-Aur just before the Borg invasion. More than a hundred Earth years ago. Just..." she sniffled and wiped her eyes. "I would like to know if she...if my parents for that matter...if either of them are still alive."

The Vulcan blinked in surprise. "You have not seen your family in over a century?" He managed, unable to keep the disbelief out of his voice, "how is that possible? Surely... you would know, if they were...gone? Your species senses it, don't they?" He didn't know much about el-aureans, not really having met a great many, if any at all. He paused briefly, still touching her arm. "You could reassure your patient that her daughter is safe, and she will see her again. Perhaps Starfleet can help you locate your family?"

At that last little bit, Toareth could not help but to produce a singular laugh. "After a hundred years, enough time to travel across the galaxy," she let that thought sink in a second, "I don't think anyone, anywhere can help me find them. And yes, we El-Aurians do, at least can, sense the passing of a loved one. I was young then, maybe 7 years old to the eyes of a human. My empathic abilities were just starting to come into focus. And," and Toareth did not usually admit to this, but, "that empathic connection, if formed, can diminish if you go long enough without thinking of them." And it had actually been a long time since she had thought of her parents or sister. In fact, there was almost a decade in her past where she thought of them almost none at all. If muscles can atrophy through a lack of use, perhaps El-Aurian empathic linkages can do the same thing.

"When we fled El-Auria," Toareth continued, "our ships went in all directions. We had no rendezvous. Our only instinct was to get away, to survive. After more than a century," she nodded away at her understanding of the fact that, "they could be anywhere in any of the quadrants. Delta? Gamma? Starfleet has no presence in either." She sniffled a time or two before returning to the topic of, "My patient knows her daughter is well. Was speaking to her only this morning via subspace relay."

"You have a daughter too, don't you?" Syvar asked carefully, his expression full of sympathy, "I recall seeing her in passing but I don't remember her name or age. Do you ever speak to her of your family? Keep their memories alive?" He paused, a touch of sadness washing over him. "Sometimes, I wish someone had done that for my birth parents. I don't even remember their faces, even though I have a handful of pictures. I just don't remember them."

"That is more than what I have," she said. "I have no pictures, no heirlooms, nothing. And...Gabrielle...that is my daughter's name...I have very little to tell about my family. The only family she will ever know is my husband's." Toareth breathed deep, catching her breath and getting her emotions back in check. "I cannot imagine having no memories of them," she looked to Syvar as she spoke. "Knowing they exist, having pictural evidence of that, but having no memories to go accompany." She felt that would be better for her to lose her memories of her family. She was taking the medication to possibly do exactly that afterall.

He paused, a thought crossing his mind. "Of course I could cause a gigantic temporal breach by visiting them in this time, but what would that get me, beyond being taken away from my own family?"

"I am aware of your situation," she said as she nodded. "Not the details mind you but just the fac thtat you are time displaced." Before she thought about it, Toareth asked, "your time, is it future or past?" And she quickly broke in on her own words with, "don't answer that. I do not need to know. Temporal Prime Directive," she said aloud to herself. "Just...it seems you and I are in similar boats. Circumstances are different, but both seem unable to be with our respective families."

"My wife and daughters were with me when the temporal event occurred. As you have access to my medical record, I think it's safe to discuss my personal circumstances. We were sent back in time...I think I've actually not yet been born in this time. Or might just have been..." The young Vulcan looked genuinely confused. "I don't know," he confessed with a minute shrug, "it's not important. But as my doctor you should know, I think. My daughters are four years old, technically twins, but not...quite? One of them is birthed by the mirror version of my wife, but I'm the father, not my mirror." He paused again, a visible shudder passing through him. "That's a very long story, one I prefer not to detail but again, as their doctor you should know." A deep sigh followed. "The thing is... you may still have hope of seeing your family even though you have one of your own now. I...will never see my parents again. It's...forbidden."

"I certainly cannot fathom that feeling; having a good idea of where your parents may be but are forbidden from seeing them. I have no idea where, in the galaxy to start looking for my family but it seems it is the same for both of us; neither of us can return home. You are forbidden and my home is crawling with Borg." The feeling of loss had left her by that point. She was no longer emoting over her long lost sister. "I suppose the only way forward is to focus on the families we have now and the families we can make for ourselves."

"And remember our situation is hardly unique. My only certainty is that my daughters are safe. That the mirror can't take her from me because in this time, she doesn't know or her existence." He squeezed his boss's arm. "We're not alone."

'We're not alone,' was a saying Toareth had heard thousands of times during her years. And each time she heard it spoken, or seen it written, it meant less and less to her to the point that it had become a person's meager attempt at consolation. At least it was that, and she accepted it as such. Thank you," she said.

Understanding enough time had passed and that it was about time for her to have another migraine, Toareth pulled her hypospray from her satchel and hit herself with it on the back of her neck, flexing her neck this way and that to work the medication forth. She replaced the hypospray and looked to Syvar. "I should get back to my rounds. I have half the pod to cover still."

 

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