Non Answers
Posted on Wed Sep 25th, 2024 @ 6:20pm by Lieutenant JG Toareth Rouen (née Darqa)
Edited on on Wed Sep 25th, 2024 @ 6:25pm
1,367 words; about a 7 minute read
Mission:
Fortuna
Location: Trillius Prime
Timeline: Prior to Now
The Alle’Ke’Zonda’er monk opened the door before Toareth and said, “The High Priest will see you now.”
Every now and then, since the migraines began, Toareth would seek out leads, any leads on the cause of her migraines, sometimes looking for cures. Was there medicine? Yes. But no cure, not even a hint of a cause of her repeated migraines. This was one of those times Toareth sought anything that resembled an answer. Doctors were at a loss, biologists had nothing, Scientist were clueless. This time, after Toareth had always sworn against anything spiritual, decided to give spirituality a chance. She highly doubted she would walk out with any form of satisfaction, but at least wanted to give the religious nutjob a go at an answer.
The Alle’Ke’Zonda’er were, in fact, Trill. They had originally taken the ancient name Ț’Ril, but seeing that as being the name of their goddess deity, they went with the, much harder to pronounce, Alle’Ke’Zonda’er.
Toareth Darqa put in for an audience with the high priest and went there, a few days prior, as instructed in preparation for her meeting.
“Toareth Darqa,” announced one of the monks as she entered. The doors were closed behind her, their closing echoed off the tall walls and the high ceiling. The room was dark, save for five lit areas, four of which monks were kneeling in the light. The fifth was occupied by the High Priest, likewise kneeling. In the middle was another lit spot along the floor, meant for the one seeking answers; Toareth.
“Come, young one,” said the High Priest. “Join us.”
Toareth arrived at her location and knelt down. Might as well accommodate.
“Please sit comfortably if you desire. We do not judge here.”
Toareth fell back into a more comfortable sitting position. “If this is suitable,” she asked. Her voice echoed and she nearly wanted to withdraw. There was no hiding her voice. Even a mere whisper could be clearly heard by the other five.
“So be it,” said the High Priest. “You come to us with questions.”
“I do. Just one question however…”
“Your migraine headaches? What causes them?”
Clearly, he read her profile. He already knew the question she had, in full.
“Alas, there is no medical explanation for your migraines.”
“Yes,” she said. “I, of course, know that. Medical professionals have poured over…”
“Medical professionals. Bah! What do they know?”
The medical professional in Toareth wanted to take some offense to that remark but the man was right. She, along with every other doctor, had no clue what caused her migraines.
The High Priest sat there, kneeling, with his eyes closed and head back as though in a deep meditation. “I do have something for you, something you will not like.”
“There has been plenty I have not liked. What I like the least is no answer at all.”
“It seems Ț’Ril wants me to tell you that there is something missing from you.”
“Missing?” Toareth looked around at the other four monks who showed no response. They were only observing and learning themselves.
“Yes,” returned the High Priest. “Something is missing; something that defines who you are. Taken from you by someone close to you.”
Toareth mentally listed off those she counted as close to her. The list was not at all long. “Can I figure out who and…”
“It is you.”
“You mean…I am missing something that was taken by…me?”
The High Priest gave a long nod.
“So how do I…give back…to myself…what I took?”
“Only when you declothe yourself will you be aware of this knowledge.”
Toareth pondered his words a brief second. Already thinking she had interpreted his words incorrectly, she reached for her shirt. “You mean…?”
“Oh no!” said the High Priest and he laughed at the misinterpretation. He even stretched out a hand to ensure Toareth did not actually declothe herself before them. “Ț’Ril means for you to be declothed of what you armor yourself with.”
“Armor? I…”
“The armor of knowledge and education. That which you know to be true and fact. You defend yourself against anyone who would naysay against something you know to be true, right?”
“Well sometimes people need to be corrected.”
The High Priest was shaking his head. “Do not do that. Instead, declothe yourself of what your armor yourself with. Rid yourself of your knowledge and education. Remove what hinders you from complete understanding and the knowledge that defines who you are, Toareth Darqa, will avail itself.”
Toareth realized what the man was doing. He was quoting to her verses straight from the Codex of T’Ril. These were not prophetic utterances, but recitals of verses he had already memorized. And to hear it repeated to her aloud, and by the High Priest, it took on the same level of meaning and importance; none at all. “I…do not know how to do that,” she said, playing along.
“No, you do not,” he replied. “But…oh what is it that Earth religion says?”
“There are many Earth religions,” returned a monk. Toareth turned to see who.
The High Priest shrugged and pointed about the other monks. “Someone help me out. It says that…oh yeah…This will come like a thief in the night.”
“A…thief…in the…”
“You will not be prepared, young one,” the High Priest spoke up. “And Ț’Ril also wants you to know that there will be great suffering, a terrible trial and tribulation. Only those that you surround yourself with who know and love you will be able to help you survive what is to come.”
“You’re joking, right?” she asked, wondering if there was to be a life-threatening event in her life. “Ț’Ril is really telling you all that?” Toareth’s voice took on an unbelieving tone. Even the other four monks stirred slightly at her outburst. “You are telling me that I need to keep people around me at all times who know and love me, because, without them, I will be in grave danger?”
“No,” the High Priest smiled. “Ț’Ril is saying that, without them, you are completely safe.”
“Safe,” she repeated.
“Yes. Well, except for the…” he pointed, indicating her head.
“The migraines.”
In the past month of preparation for this meeting, the past month of studying the codex and it scripture, Toareth had been exposed to many riddles and much scripture that seemed impossible to understand, yet elementary at the same time. In this case, she gathered that reclusing herself would keep her safe but the defining knowledge she sought would never come to her and that surrounding herself with people who would know and love her would be paramount to her survival when the knowledge came to her like a thief in the night.
Though Toareth felt she understood his meaning, she also felt that, “I do not fully understand your meaning.”
“Such is life,” he said.
A monk appeared beside Toareth holding a hand out to help her up.
“High Priest, I do not understand.”
“That, I do not doubt. There are others who came with you, yes?”
“Yes, but…”
“And we have only so many hours in the day and they deserve their time to ask questions.”
The monk was practically pulling Toareth up from the floor. “But I need to know…”
“…and you will…in time,” he said. “Do not rush knowledge. Do not rush wisdom. Only fools do that.”
Toareth was standing and the monk was gently trying to pull her away. She yanked her hand free from his grip and faced the High Priest. Finally, there came some form of realization. She was about to act foolish.
“Forgive me, High Priest,” she gave a bow. “And thank you for your time.”
“There is nothing to forgive. And you are welcome to return to us, anytime.”
Toareth was certain it would take another month of study, reading, meditating and waiting to see him again; not worth the effort. But he was right about one thing, knowledge did not need to be rushed and she came to the realization that most answers did not need his wisdom.
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